Inside Track: PR Humour

Scir-what? An ABT-solute styling disaster...

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:59:11 GMT

cj hubbard writes:

Late last week Volkswagen announced what we already knew from Dan's first drive - namely that the 197bhp 2.0-litre turbo Scirocco is soon to be joined by a 158bhp 1.4-litre twin-charger petrol, and a 138bhp 2.0-litre diesel. Both of them are available in a new entry-level trim, while the diesel can also be had as a GT, just like the current turbo petrol. Specification is stacked throughout - including air con and six CD changer, and Adaptive Chassis Control.

The 1.4 is yours from £18,790, the 2.0 TDI from £19,515 (£1,330 more if you want the DSG gearbox. Which you shouldn't).

Fine.

So long as they never ever end up looking like this:

Sadly this isn't some kind of amateur photoshop. But an actual image of an actual car that arrived in a press release from German tuner ABT.

And it gets worse.

If you think the front is bad, take a look at the back.

Lorks. The diffuser and the (knew-it-was-going-to-become-a-trend, thanks Lexus) exhausts we can live with. But that taillight bridging spoiler. Euuwww.

You can have the complete styling pack (individual pieces are available) including the quad exit back box, 30mm lowering springs and a set of 19-inch alloys with tyres and wheel spaces from January for 5,990 Euros. That's currently around £4,734.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Still, the press release deserves mention for using phrases such as:

"[The modifications] really make a storm out of a desert wind".

And:

"Even while stationary it is clear, who the 'king of the ring' or the street is, as the ABT Scirocco seems to virtually lie in ambush of the kilometres ahead of it."

Phew.

Much more interesting are the tuning packages. Regardless of anything else, a 1.4 with 197bhp certainly gets my attention. ABT will also find an extra 40bhp for the 2.0 turbo, and another 30 for the diesel (thought that shouldn't be too difficult given VW itself does a 168bhp version of that engine in other cars). Brake upgrades are also available.

Just keep the exterior stock, eh?

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Links:

First Drive: Volkswagen Scirocco

'Where to gov?' and all that...

Get creative: it's not all white any more

Fake exit blues

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'Where to guv?' and all that...

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 08:29:14 GMT

Dan Trent writes:
If Skoda was trying to pitch the Superb as something other than the ultimate minicab the message didn’t quite reach dealers Winchester Motor Company and Garland Motors. Either that or they didn’t quite think through their choice of location for the local launch event for the new Superb, parking it outside Alresford station on the historic ‘Watercress’ steam railway in Hampshire.

Given that your first sighting of the new Superb is quite likely to be in the cab rank outside your local station this has a certain ring of truth about it, even if the official theme for the event was ‘new technology meets old technology.’ No, we’re not entirely sure how this applies to the Superb either but it looks like everyone had fun and the dealers reported an enthusiastic response to the new car.

To be honest given what’s going on in the city this week Skoda may have been a bit modest in its aspirations here. After all, now that that our banks are now in partly public hands maybe it’s about time we insist the high flying execs trade in their S-Classes for something a little more appropriate. Something just like the Superb in fact. So forget quaint little launch events on steam railways Skoda – get stuck in there and get the Superb out and about in the square mile!

Dan

Links:
New Skoda Superb first drive
Back in time on the Watercress line

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All together now: one, two, three, five...

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 08:54:42 GMT

cj hubbard writes:

I am, for no obviously apparent reason, feeling a little worse for wear this morning. But balm to my tired bones is the evidence, such as it was ever needed, that I'm probably not the first and certainly won't be the last to be feeling that way this week. Thank you, Peugeot.

A press release entitled: "Peugeot 207 van available in a range of new colours', engendered the usual STOP THE PRESS type responses from all of us in the office. However, I couldn't resist clicking the link to find out just how exciting the new colours are - especially as there are five of them...

Except (and I quote):

The Peugeot 207 Van is now available in a range of colours in addition to Bianca White.
The Peugeot 207 Van, first launched in the UK in September 2007, can now be ordered in five new
exciting exterior colours:
Solid Colour

Flamenco Red - Basic cost £68.09 exc VAT

Metallic Colours

Aluminium - Basic cost £365.96 exc VAT
Montebello Blue - Basic cost £365.96 exc VAT
Onyx Black - Basic cost £365.96 exc VAT

Since its launch, over 1215 Peugeot 207 Vans have been sold in the UK.

I don't know about you, but that looks like just four exciting new colours to me - Bianca white being neither exciting, nor new...

Still, we all make mistakes. Amazing what a simple van-related press release can do for your state of mind.

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Links:

Wall of sound Mazda innovations

Spotted: the world's largest Venetian blind

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Spotted: the world's largest Venetian blind

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:20:29 GMT

cj hubbard writes:

Whoa! Look at the size of that thing!

And the Porsche Cayman S Sport is pretty impressive, too.

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Links:

New limited edition Porsche Boxster and Cayman

Are Porsches all they're cracked up to be?

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The puns keep coming...

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 11:53:13 GMT

cj hubbard writes:

That's Christopher Biggins, in case you were wondering. He's apparently just ordered a new Peugeot 207 CC.

Cue press release with all manner of king of the jungle/king of the road/lion related references. Oh, and that classic photo caption. You can do your own jokes...

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Links:

Image of the week: is Ford getting cruel and unusual?

Semantics or a sense of humour?

First Drive: Peugeot 207 CC

Semantics or a sense of humour?

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:04:26 GMT

cj hubbard writes:

It's not often a press release will make me laugh out loud - although Vauxhall and Nissan do occasionally try to do it on purpose.

However, I was perusing the official blurb for the 'new' Mercedes-Benz CLC, when I came across this:

"The redesigned large tailgate conceals a variable boot with up to 1100 litres of luggage capacity."

A variable boot? Do you suppose that means the rear seats fold down?

And as for the later heading, "Sports Coupé with extensive conquest potential", well, I guess Mercedes must be desperate for younger buyers or something...

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Links:

Unveiled: new Mercedes CLC coupé