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April 01 News round up Dan Trent writes: Honestly, I really did think the Geely ‘Rolls-Royce’ was an April fool. But if it was a whole swathe of the motoring media has been taken in! Anyway, having passed the noon cut-off point it’s probably time to have a look at some of the press releases we were sent through this morning. First Goodwood, and its promise for a ‘zero emission’ Festival Of Speed in which drivers would be required to push their cars up the 1.16-mile hill. As the release explained, “Most of the eight current Formula One teams due to attend are already in training, aiming to beat Nick Heidfeld's record time up the hill of 41.60 seconds in his McLaren-Mercedes MP4/13, with a new time of sub 41 minutes as they push their cars up the steep Goodwood hill.” It went on to say, “In the interests of decency and fair play, some of the older ex-works drivers will be allowed a 30 second ‘breather' half way up the hill as they push their cars. A Goodwood butler will be on hand to administer organic non-alcoholic cognac if required for medicinal purposes.” Hyundai also got in on the act, announcing a new special edition i10 “specifically targeted at the booming market among world and religious leaders.”  And in case you didn’t already get the drift Kia told us “The first demonstrator is due to be trialled by a German customer who currently resides in Italy.” Warming to the theme the press release continued “All leather has been removed from the seat facings and the upholstery is made up of parts of a tapestry woven by monks from the Indian city of Utta Bullacs. The cloth was nicknamed ‘holy sheet' by Hyundai's specialist trimmers.” There was more. “Although details of the security package are confidential, this special i10 has features over and above the standard model's central locking. Part of this involves an innovative, lightweight composite armour built into the top of the car. This material, named Armour Protected Roof Integrated Lining®, was originally developed for use in offshore powerboat racing in Switzerland. “In order to meet recycling and sustainability targets, part of the armour is made from a fully organic material. The ‘string' part of runner beans is actually lighter and stronger than Kevlar when woven into matting and encased in resin made from tree sap. The panels of Weave BeanTM add just 25g to the weight of the i10.” Meanwhile, apparently following inspiration from Billy Connolly, another suspicious press release was seen regarding a German company announcing “The introduction of a dioptic windscreen that will enable poorly sighted drivers to see road signs with greater clarity.” The press release continued, “In effect, the dioptic panel is similar to the fixed-diopter spectacles sold by chain chemists, but differs in that the degree of magnification is infinitely variable between +0.5 and +3.0 diopters according to the needs of the driver. And like the ‘instant’ spectacles, no prescription is necessary.” It continued, “The higher the diopter setting, the greater the degree of magnification. ‘At the maximum setting, it is like moving the road sign some 50 metres closer to the driver,’ explains Hr. Vierte. ‘On autobahns this is particularly useful as the reaction time at high speeds is greatly improved. Also at junctions, the test drivers report earlier awareness of stop signs - revealing a collateral benefit not anticipated: namely a reduction in brake-pad wear.’” BMW was up to something too, announcing a new Magnetic Tow Technology as part of the next phase of its EfficientDynamics innovations. Take it away BMW: “The unique system, developed in conjunction with NASA, works via a discreet unit located in the front valance that projects an enhanced magnetic beam 20 metres in front of the BMW. Once a suitable target car is located and the BMW is magnetically locked on behind it, the driver is then able to take his foot off the accelerator, turn off the engine and let the car in front do all the work. The towing car will not notice any change in manoeuvrability.” Fuel savings of 30% were apparently on offer, a convenient expert by the name of Dr Noitt All explaining, “BMW has always been a leader in the application of the very latest automotive technology. Up until now the EfficientDynamics programme has looked at ways of improving the performance of our own products, but we thought why burn your own fuel when you can burn someone else’s?”  The green theme was also picked up by SEAT, with its Aero-Tonto wind-powered generator for the second generation Leon Ecomotive. “It works by reducing the need for the Ibiza's efficient turbodiesel engine to generate electrical power, as the Aero-Tonto's blades spin like a mini wind turbine producing enough charge to run the car's headlights,” said SEAT. Thankfully “the blades are capable of being folded around the Ibiza's bee-sting aerial for trips to the car wash.”  Wind power also seems to have been the inspiration over at Kia, with its wind-assisted ‘Aero-Soul’ upgrades. Apparently “the patented system can be easily extended to all the company's vehicles and will even be available as a bolt-on accessory for vehicles already in use.” But how would it work? “The system relies on small sensors built into the front and rear bumpers which monitor external wind speed and deploy panels when the wind is sufficient to provide additional directional impetus according to the car's behaviour. So at cruising speeds if the wind behind the car is strong - such as in winter gales - the panels will harness wind power to provide forward motion. If the car is slowing or under braking the panels will deploy to provide additional retardation effort. Additionally a small electrically powered baffle can be lowered just behind the exhaust pipe under harsh braking to provide the kind of "reverse-thrust" normally associated with aircraft during landing - this element will only be available as a factory-fitted device.” --- Share It
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