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11 novembre Caterham versus Porsche
A special gender-based dispensation was, however, granted to a couple of chaps from Caterham, who were there giving hot laps in a R400 and a R500 and spending much of the time on track very sideways indeed. A licence to show off? You betcha.
But the best bit came when packing up to go home at the end of the day: check out the secondary text on the R500's numberplate. Cheeky! Dan Links:
31 octobre Anti-speeding message gets serious
Dan Trent writes: Dan *Robocop's mechanical nemesis, for those whose heads are filled with more important things than useless geek trivia. Which is pretty much everybody it transpires.
27 octobre Red hot Porsche out testing
Clearly the Porsche test drivers are on a bit of a mission to restore a reputation for Nordschliefe supremacy that has been under attack from all quarters, most notably from the Nissan GT-R. Indeed, an ongoing spat between Nissan and Porsche has been getting ugly of late, Nissan cheekily offering the Porsche test crew performance driver training after the Germans claimed the production GT-R they borrowed couldn’t get anywhere near the lap times claimed by Nissan.
This one is set to run and run but it looks like things are getting serious out there in the forests of the Eifel mountains… Dan Links:
16 avril Image of the week: Ibiza is go!Exclusive! cj hubbard writes:
Seat is about to launch the all-new version of its Ibiza supermini - you know, the one designed by ex-Lamborghini man, Luc Donckerwolke. Which is quite exciting.
Seriously - it is. The Bocanegra concept that previewed the new design at Geneva (above and below) looked absolutely fantastic. We can't wait to see the production version outside of the official press photography.
We won't get to do so until the launch in May. Which actually puts us rather behind quite a few members of the general public... Embarrassing we know, but in order to publicise the new car's arrival, a single, solitary example has just finished touring the country. In the back of a specially built Perspex-sided transporter.
Looks super Gerry Anderson-esque, doesn't it? We can just imagine Thunderbird 2 descending through the skies above London, and plucking the case off the back of the truck. Whisking it away from the prying eyes of the press, and preventing us from getting an early glimpse of the car. Not that we're bitter or anything. Actually, we're not. Since Seat kindly sent us this exclusive - yes, we did say exclusive - extra picture of the car-truck combo, cruising past the Millennium Wheel.
Cheers Seat! --- Links: Official: sleek new Seat Ibiza Golf GTI Pirelli set for UK release - UPDATED
4 avril Image of the week: foolcj hubbard writes:
In case you hadn’t noticed, it became April this week, somewhat inevitably bringing April 1st along with it. So instead of a dedicated image post this week, here’s a quick round up of the motoring related April Fools press releases that we spotted. BMW – it may surprise some of you to learn (but we’re avoiding all German stereotypes at the moment if we can help it) – is always good for a gag, publishing something every year. This time around it was the Canine Repellent Alloy Protection system. Yes, the acronym does spell C.R.A.P.
The brainchild of Dr Hans Zoff apparently, C.R.A.P. is a new EfficientDynamics offering, using brake energy regeneration to charge a Rim Impulse Power device. It zaps any dog attempting to relieve itself over the wheels with a small electrical charge. How small exactly? Well R.I.P. suggests it would be a pretty permanent deterrent… Sadly BMW’s April 1 price increases weren’t any kind of joke at all. But you can blame the Budget for that. Next up is Seat, with its new “electro-reflective” exterior panel finish. What does that mean, then, Seat? “The unique bodywork has been developed in-house by an elite team of technicians at the Spanish manufacturer’s Martorell HQ, near Barcelona. Using complex principles similar to those through which electrochromic (auto dimming) rear view mirrors work, the experts have developed the patented electro reflective finish which constantly adapts to mimic the car’s surroundings.”
Usefully, the release even included a picture. Some lovely Photochopping there. It seems the wheels and grill may give the game away, though. Ford, apparently happy with a recent revelation from car supermarket Carcraft that it now sells more cars to the over 65s than previous ‘Silver driver’ favourite, Vauxhall, decided to spoof a prescription windscreen. An old joke (but a good one?), it also served to publicise the imminent arrival of the blue oval’s new Kuga SUV, announcing “free eye tests” to anyone ordering the off-roader.
We suspect that this wasn’t exactly brilliantly thought through. Is Ford suggesting anyone who is considering a Kuga needs their eyes tested?
We’re driving the Kuga first thing next week; the contact lenses are already in the suitcase. Kia’s effort was a little more youth orientated. In fact, it was a lot more youth orientated – a new version of the KEE concept coupe, branded the KEE_wii.
Not a reference to the colour of the paint, the KEE_wii name is a clue to the car’s revolutionary control method – which replaces the steering wheel and pedals with a remote control and a joystick. No silly acronyms or names here. The major hint that this was anything but genuine came with the statement: “Kia demands driving entitlement for children as young as eight.” And the picture of a small boy in the back seat holding the remote and nunchuck from a Nintendo Wii games console.
Finally, our favourite actually appears to have been cooked up by industry website, Motor Trader (apologies if this turns out to be incorrect). Concerning the launch of Rover branded bicycles, it even had Dan fooled at first glance – where’s the joke in a bicycle launch? Unless, perhaps, you’re attempting to make a point about the brand’s recent efforts… However, as we all know, not only did Rover begin as a pushbike maker, its name is now owned by Chinese carmaker Nanjing. Let’s have Motortrader take it (and the blame) from here:
The Bling? As in 'bling, bling - get out of my way'? Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
If you spotted any other car related April Fools, feel free to let us know in the comments below. Oh, and it's not bad luck to be mentioning this three days later - we're only reporting the 'jokes', not making them... --- Links: Image of the week: this must be some new definition of the word that I wasn't previously aware of...
27 mars Image of the week: this must be some new definition of the word that I wasn't previously aware of...cj hubbard writes: Forgive the overlong title. I have, as you may have guessed, been rereading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (a trilogy in five parts, and so on...) recently. Anyways...
Photos by Anna Robens. I don't know if this is a phenomenon you've experienced, but an awful lot of garages appear to be shutting down. This is bad for competition - and therefore fuel prices, God help us all - but also convenience. An associated trend is the disappearance of the do it yourself jetwash; the rise and rise of the friendly local forecourt handwash (like the one mentioned here) is all very well - but what if I just want to blast the salt from the underside of my car? I guess I'm out of luck. Sorry. Whittering. The picture above is of my local Shell station. Good for V-Power super unleaded and its apparently engine enhancing characteristics (other brands are available...), and also home to the only self-help jetwash I'm aware of in Hemel Hempstead's immediate vicinity. It isn't, thankfully, closing down for good. However, passing it the other day we couldn't help noticing this sign:
(Blurry enlargement - apologies.) Now, the point is, what does the word refurbishment generally suggest to you? A lick of paint? A few new shelves in the shop? Possibly a bit of reconfigured signage? Err. Shell (or its contractors) appears to have a rather different view:
Look closely, and you can see the remains of my beloved jetwash in the background. I wonder if it will still be there when the station reopens all shiny and new.
--- Links: Image of the week: Hummer embracing your inner child Notes from the road: new Impreza in the wild
19 mars Image of the week: Hummer embracing your inner childcj hubbard writes:
In case you didn't know it, Hummer's baby H3 SUV monster is now available to order in right-hand drive here in the UK. Clearly, there are lots of things that could be said about the sort of person likely to buy one of these things. And gladly we don't have to think of any of them, since Hummer seems to be doing its best to provide all the amusement we could possibly ask for. Following on from a previous stunt, which saw an H3 packaged like a toy and displayed outside a London branch of Toys R Us (constructing the box apparently took three weeks, too - so much for American ingenuity), Hummer has now had one converted to remote control.*
The 'joke' of course, is that the Hummer is already "the world's most iconic boy's toy." This just makes it "the ultimate gadget for grown ups". (I suspect someone needs to think a little more carefully about the definition of ultimate, but at least they avoided the sexism this time.)
The conversion was carried out by engineer Dr James Brighton of Cranfield University, and took a month. Unsurprisingly, the end result is one heck of an off-road r/c toy, given the Hummer's extensive capabilities - which include scaling 407mm vertical walls, dealing with 40 percent side slopes, and splashing about in up to 610mm of water.
We can't argue that this isn't very impressive. And it's with a mixture of disappointment and amusement that we read under the "Notes To Editors" section of the press release that "The remote controlled Hummer is not available for general purchase"... Still, you could always buy one and do the conversion yourself. H3 prices start at £26,495. In the meantime, we would just like to say: CAN WE HAVE A GO?! Bonus: here's the H3 in it's box (I guess we're supposed to note it's the Dad staring, not the kid):
*'remote control' is Hummer's term. I'd have guessed it was radio controlled myself.... --- Links: Image of the week: Russians have Kia seeing more than double The Bernard Manning of off-roaders First Drive: Hummer H3 (2007 onwards model)
12 mars Image of the week: Russians have Kia seeing more than doublecj hubbard writes: You remember the Russian couple that had quints a few months back? And that at the time Kia was running a new baby discount on its Sedona line - have five get the car free, sort of thing? Well, there was lots of umming and ahhing from Kia about whether Dmitry and Varkara Artamkin qualified, since they aren't actually UK residents. In the end, it decided it would loan them a car for the duration of their stay here. And finally, Kia has released a press image. Everybody say awwwww. Although by the looks of it, the babies themselves are actually going waahhhhh. Well, it has been pretty cold outside recently.
--- Links: Image of the week: FAB Design, or is that just the name of the company?
5 mars Image of the week: FAB Design - or is that just the name of the company?cj hubbard writes: I promised you a colour related treat earlier. And here it is. Fresh from the FAB Design - another of those companies that likes torturing Mercedes, apparently - stand at Geneva, here is a very purple CL and an Extremely Orange (not a real paint title) SL.
Yes, that is a Lamborghini style rising door. And here's another one:
Frankly, the CL is all very well, but the SL is just fantastic!
Can you even begin to imagine what it must be like driving around in a car painted like that? It looks like the victim of a fake tan factory explosion. FAB has even completely colour-coded the interior.
It's hard to say for sure (what with being temporarily blinded, and all), but the car also appears to be wearing the company's brilliantly named "Mega Wing Wide Body" exterior kit. I had a Hot Wheels or Matchbox car that colour once (some sort of Corvette, I believe). Never ever thought I'd see it for real. Just. Wow. --- Links: Image of the week: would you like a flake with that? Image of the week: you want to do what to the Mercedes?
27 février Image of the week: would you like a flake with that?cj hubbard writes:
The other main reason I regretted not lugging my DSLR along to the Hyundai i10 launch was this (in defence of the poor quality pictures, it was incredibly badly lit):
Custom made by Andy Saunders - who I was lucky enough to share a table with over dinner - to highlight the i10's standard fit air conditioning, this is a fully operational i10 ice cream van.
We could play spot the car part here...any guesses where the back came from?
That number plate surround sure looks familiar, too...
The light-up cone is all the way from the States. Via eBay.
Sparkly pinstriped seats? Very American ice cream parlor.
This is Laura from the Hyundai press office, proving that the thing actually works:
The whole conversion was built in five weeks. Given the quality of finish, that would already be impressive even if Andy hadn't also been holding down his day job of running a garage and MOT testing station. Weekends and evenings were all the time he could spare for it.
The attention to detail is superb. That's the i10 boot release, retro-fitted as a third brake light.
Unsurprisingly, there were a few calamities along the way. Including the freezer, which was bigger than originally specified and would only go in the van after a hole had been cut in the floor. The van was then lowered down over the freezer using the MOT inspection ramp...
All the additional fabrication necessary to turn car into van also meant the i10 tail lights also caused a few headaches. Eventually they went in upside down. But not before the original pair suffered for the cause - one was inadvertently melted during some welding, the other got clipped (literally and figuratively) by an angle grinder. If the i10 hadn't been a brand new car getting replacements would have been less of an issue, but as it was there's now an otherwise pristine i10 in Dunsfold with a couple of bits missing... --- Links: Image of the week: holy sportscar (batman?) Fete-all attraction with the Hyundai i10 Andy Saunders Kustoms (This being his old website; a new one with the andysaunderscustoms.com address on its way)
20 février Image of the week: holy sportscar (batman?)cj hubbard writes:
Plenty of choice for image of the week this week. I considered the new Ford Fiesta, for example, seemingly set to become the most aggressive looking supermini - ever. Or, if you want to go more exotic, there's always the Alfa Romeo 8C Spider, unveiled earlier today (don't think it works well in white personally...), or the Corvette Z03 Concept. However, in the end I think a bit of good old fashioned American no-nonsense wins the day. This is an actual Lotus advert, as printed on the back page of a US car mag we've got in the office at the moment:
To the point, don't you think? --- Links: Image of the week: Phoo Action! Revealed: Alfa Romeo 8C Spider Revealed: Corvette Z03 Concept
13 février Image of the week: Phoo Action!cj hubbard writes: Aww, man. Did anyone else catch this show on BBC Three last night?
I'm talking about Phoo Action - a completely bonkers comic strip based concept involving mutants, a kung fu cop, and the monarchy. Not to mention a hot-pants wearing chosen one, and - the reason I'm bringing it up here - a Lancia Stratos replica as the 'Phoo Mobile'. How cool is that? A freaking Lancia Stratos! It gets plenty of screen time, too, including a moment when it drives itself... If you didn't catch the show, and you like things a little bit off the wall, you should check it out. Think The Green Hornet meets The Mighty Boosh. Or something. Only a pilot so far - and part of a season of six new dramas - there are repeats all through the BBC Three schedule at least until the 17 February. Or you can watch it online, and even download it using the BBC iPlayer (both for a limited time only - so don't blame me of those links don't work). Anyways, here is the Phoo Mobile:
The two characters standing next to it are Terry Phoo (the kung fu cop, played by Eddie Shin) and Whitey Action (the other protagonist, played by Jamie Winstone. Yes, she is indeed Ray Winstone's daughter). The whole thing is based on characters created by Jamie Hewlett (of Gorillaz and Tank Girl fame) for a comic strip in The Face. It's produced by Matthew Read, and directed by Euros Lyn. Bravo all. This is exactly the sort of crazy thing I want to see on digital TV. Got to use all those channels for something. Isn't New Media great?
Pictures copyright BBC, used with permission. --- Links: Image of the week: you want to what to the Mercedes?
8 février Image of the week: you want to do what to the Mercedes?cj hubbard writes: This is already late (it's been a busy week...), so I'm not going to write much. I'll just show you the pictures. Lorinser is one of those numerous Mercedes tuners that seem to make up part of the third biggest German industry after actual carmaking, and sausages: mad bad modification in the most dubious possible taste. This is what it can do to enhance your Mercedes' interior. I kid you not - these photographs arrived in an official email earlier this week.
Mmm. Blue quilting.
Mmm. Beige. And brown.
Mmm. The S&M look?
That'll show the chavs how to do it...
ARGH! My personal favourite. PS: I was joking about the sausages. --- Links: Image of the week: is Ford getting cruel and unusual?
30 janvier Image of the week: is Ford getting cruel and unusual?cj hubbard writes: Hold your breath, there's a new Ford Focus advert coming...
Car manufacturers tell us it is increasingly difficult to get people to pay any attention at all to their television adverts. We're so used to seeing them now that they just get filtered out - unless there is something especially unusual or eye-catching about them. Hence those irritating Vauxhall "C'mon" characters (by that logic you've only got yourselves to blame), the current Fiat 500 campaign, and all the recent adverts from Honda. I mention Honda last of all, because I can't help thinking it might have been a bit of an influence. You remember the Civic choir spot? Well, the new Ford Focus ad takes things a step further (or is it a step back?) by featuring an orchestra playing instruments assembled from parts of the car. The unfortunate victim was reportedly a brand-spanking Focus five-door, so fresh off the production line it literally had less than a mile on the clock when it reached the technicians' (musicians'?) workshop. God only know what it's all going to sound like. I guess we'll find out when the advert airs 4 February on ITV. If you can name all of those car parts, you need to get out more. And as if playing a "Transmission Case Cello-Dulcimer" wasn't enough, using a windscreen wiper as a bow shows real dedication... --- Links: 23 janvier Image of the week: strange fish in Detroitcj hubbard writes:
As you can imagine, you don't half get some funny looking concepts turning up at motor shows. Pick of Detroit in this regard? Quite probably this lot. All products of the Chinese Tang Hua design agency, and the handiwork of designer Li Guangming, they are apparently markers along the road in his quest for an iconic motor vehicle for the China. The strangely soothing bubble-like forms are therefore an attempt to establish a unique Chinese automotive design language - clearly it's not just the West who's fed-up with Chinese carmakers ripping off established designs. Influenced by the Ford Model T, and the Volkswagen Beetle, Li explains , "There will be no Chinese national cars of significance if the Chinese spirit is absent from their design." Anyways, here are the cars.
Above is the Detroit Fish. Detroit because it was built specially for the show. Fish because it is - apparently - amphibious. You might want to wear a raincoat, though, eh? Or a wetsuit. It's powered by a 3.5kW electric motor; no performance figures are available...
This one is the Piece of Cloud. I don't know about you, but I'd feel better if I could see some seatbelts. Or any hint of a crash structure.
Last of all, is the Book of Songs. Stick a small capacity turbo engine in it, and imagine the fun you would have shaming more - shall we say - traditional looking vehicles at the traffic lights. You might be laughing now, but just you wait until the Chinese economic juggernaut actually starts sending this stuff our way.
And finally, here is the man himself, Li Guangming. Good on ya, Li. --- Links: Image of the week: Gulf Racing Aston Martin DBRS9
Images courtesy of Newspress. 16 janvier Image of the week: Gulf Racing Aston Martin DBRS9cj hubbard writes:
Question. What do you get if you cross Aston Martin and Gulf Racing, two of the most evocative names in endurance racing? Answer. This:
How unbelievably awesome does this thing look? It's the latest Aston Martin DBRS9 racer, complete with what is probably the world's most famous racing livery - thanks to a new sponsorship deal. The new pairing will race at Le Mans this year, with Aston defending its 2007 GT1 class victory, and Gulf celebrating 40 years since its first outright victory in 1968. The cars will - of course - be numbers 007 and 009. Dan covered all the details at the Autosport show, but the release of these official press images was just too good to pass up. Enjoy.
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