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30 settembre 4th Paris Lamborghini teaser revealedcj hubbard writes: So this is the fourth teaser photo for the mystery new Lamborghini that's set to be unveiled at the Paris Motor Show in about, oh, 32 hours time:
The thing looks wackier and wackier. Awesome. And that vent? More evidence we've looking at a front-engined Lamb, I reckon... --- Links: Rumour-mongering: new Lamborghini steals Paris limelight Paris International Motor Show @ MSN Cars
Insignia wheely cheapcj hubbard writes: Not quite from the archives, but I was just researching the new Vauxhall Insignia for something, and I came across this image of the soon-to-be-revealed-at-Paris estate:
It's not a new picture. But I was struck by how simply ginormous the wheels look. It's partly a trick with the spoke design - having them feed right out to the edge of the rim - but also because they are actually frickin' huge. I wonder what the ride will be like. Speaking of the Insignia, and ignoring the fact that we haven't actually driven it yet (soon folks, soon), did you know you can already buy it at a discount? It officially went on sale in July at the British International Motor Show, entry price for the saloon: £15,935. Not bad, we all thought. And arriving in UK showrooms later this year. Buy A Car - who we neither know much about, nor endorse; other online retailers are available - clearly disagrees. You can pre-order that very same 1.8i petrol Exclusiv model from it in saloon or hatchback form for £13,462, including delivery costs, etc, etc. That's nearly £2,500 off a car that's not even available yet. Whoa. In fact, we fear for the Insignia's residuals, because it gets worse. The entire range is discounted, including over £4,000 off 2.0-litre diesel Elite Nav versions. The moral of this story? It pays to shop around. Or, wait, and buy one used. --- Links: British International Motor Show @ MSN Cars Paris International Motor Show @ MSN Cars
Policing the Panda KaRichard Aucock writes: Later this week, we’ll be seeing the new Ford Ka for the first time, at the Paris Motor Show. Now, it is based on Fiat’s Panda, and is built in the same Polish factory. We know that. What we don’t know is whether the Ka is going to ‘feel’ like a Panda. That won’t necessarily be a disaster. The Panda is my favourite Fiat, and its already spawned the fine 500. But, I admire Fords, because they feel like Fords, and thus handle, involve and ‘feel’ great. Take the original Ka. Still an absolute joy to drive. What’s the new one going to be like?
Well, we’ve seen the pictures. And..? Well, Ford included one of the interior. From which, I was struck by… how much like a Panda it looks. And not just the Fiat column stalks, Fiat electric mirror switch (albeit moved from the floor to the door), Fiat dial layout – but, heavens, every control, sitting just where it does in the Panda, within a clearly-related overall architecture. Heater dials. Stereo. Odometer reset button. Air vents. Now, I know sharing platforms yields certain ‘hard points’ you can’t move (that’s why all Mk5 Golf-derived models have heater controls set so low, why all Mk5-based versions have a floor-mounted accelerator), but even so, I’m intrigued. And worried about the actual extent of Ford’s influence.
A closer look reassures me, in part. The dials have unique faces, the dash buttons are ‘Ford’, not Fiat, and the overall dash bears fewer similarities than you first think. Those seats look lovely and the door pockets are huge. Hopefully all indicating that Fiat’s allowed Ford engineers similar free reign over the tuning of it – fitting bespoke springs and dampers, tuning the suspension bushes, altering the geometry, all that sort of stuff.
But we won’t know for sure until we drive it, in a few weeks’ time. Until then, doubts remain. Not eased by Ford calling the 1.2-litre engine ‘Duratec’, and the 1.3-litre diesel ‘Duratorq’. Ford names. But they certainly ‘aint Ford engines… --- Links: Rumour-mongering: new Lamborghini steals Paris limelight
Impreza scoopRichard Aucock writes: Ah, the Impreza Turbo driver. They’re a phenomenon in their own right. The attraction of a burbling flat four, four-square handling and a foot flat on the floor with total confidence in the car beneath has created communities, business – dammit, a way of life for thousands. We salute Imprezadom.
But it’s taken something of a hit recently. The new Impreza, for months, lacked any sort of whizz-bang-ness, while initial drives of the WRX were lukewarm to say the least. What every movement needs is sustainability to continue, and the way things were going, the Impreza Turbo looked as if it was edging towards classic status. Impreza Turbo drivers growing beards and buying sensible jumpers from M&S? Perish the thought.
But things are a-turning. We saw all those harder-core models at the British International Motor Show. All well and good. But, at the Paris show, there’s more. An Impreza diesel. A what? Yes, an Impreza that burns oil – and because it’s meant to, not because the turbo has gone pop due to the owner turning the boost pressure up to 98bar. It’s this that is going to make the model viable. Think about it. The original sold well because it was understated, ferociously competent and quick enough. Not stupidly fast, but swifter than most things in real-world conditions, with the ability to use all its go. It was also something of a bargain, and pretty cheap to run, too. Great, in 1995.
But a decade or so on, things have changed. Fuel costs a fortune. Taxation systems mean thirsty engines are financial suicide. Consequently, diesels are everywhere. Particularly in the hands of foot-planted company drivers, who consistently exploit the searing, easily-accessible torque they possess. Today, the quickest thing on the road is often a BMW 320d or Passat TDI, even if the driver’s not trying. Performance car drivers have to work hard – and pay through the nose when they do. Hence, the brilliance of the Impreza diesel. It’s as easy to summon the power as it is to lay it down onto the tarmac, which could well help it regain its crown as fastest real-world warrior. Fewer fuel stops mean drivers can do this more. The boxer layout means it retains all the offbeat character it’s always possessed. And overall costs means, once again, the Impreza could be the working man’s fast-car bargain it once was.
However, there is one reason above all why we reckon the Impreza diesel is going to be champ. Why, the very reason the original Turbo did so well (and why so many non-turbo Sports have holes cut in their 'hoods'). The company has confirmed... it is to have a whopping great air scoop on the bonnet.
OK, the pictures here are of the WRX petrol, but an insider admitted we shouldn’t be surprised if the diesel boasts much similarity. Roll on early 2009, we say… --- Links: Notes from the road: new Impreza in the wild
29 settembre Rumour-mongering: new Lamborghini steals Paris limelightcj hubbard writes:
In an awesome act of upstaging, Lamborghini is bringing a brand new car to the Paris Motor Show. And unlike with the Ferrari California – which we’ve known details of for months – we have absolutely no idea what the new Lamborghini will be like. The only details we have so far are three closely cropped teaser images. Almost unbelievably in this day and age, the new Lamborghini hasn’t even been caught testing by spy photographers. Which may mean its nothing more than a design concept at this stage, similar to the modernised Miura of 2006 (below).
But whatever the new Lamborghini actually is, the limited amount of information available so far gives us the perfect opportunity for a bit of idle speculation. So let’s take a look at the evidence, and see what we’ve got: Three pictures.
The first to emerge, showing what appears to be a geometrically over-designed tailpipe and carbon-fibre diffuser, came with the caption: “It’s not just a new Lamborghini. It’s a new world.”
The second, showing a front wheel and an Italian Tricoloured vent, amusingly asked: “Not yet seen THE Italian car?” Take THAT, Ferrari.
Anyways, finally, the third and most recent image is of the rear taillight, showing what appears to a bootlid shutline, and suggested: “A new Lamborghini. The elegant realisation of technical potential.” What on earth does it all mean? Can Lamborghini really be building… a four-door saloon? Wait. A Lamborghini four-door? The general consensus is: absolutely, yes. Much like Aston Martin with the Rapide and Porsche with the Panamera, Lamborghini is looking to increase its brand appeal into other sectors of the market. A saloon could potentially double the marque’s sales – although whether that would be a good thing is open to debate. What makes us think the mystery car is a saloon? The wheel shot implies a front-engine layout – why else would that slightly unsubtle Italian flag (what is this, the Fiat 500 supercar?) vent be there? Then there’s the taillight image with the bootlid shutline. If there’s a boot, where’s the engine? At the front. Obviously. But without a side-profile and a door count it could still be a coupe, right? Sure, and if we dig a little deeper, as far back as 2004 Lamborghini was hinting at plans for a four-seat 2+2. Even then it was scheduled to arrive in 2009. Which makes us all a bit stupid for not realising this thing was going to arrive in concept form sometime this year. To confuse things further, though, it could always be an SUV – perhaps code-named LM005, and a follow on to Lamborghini’s notorious LM002. But given the current environmental/economic climate, we don’t think so. Urus, Lagartijo, or Estoque? Given the opportunity to bet, for us it’s still a four-door saloon. But what will it be called – and on what will it be based? Well, Lamborghini is part of the Volkswagen Group, so could draw on the Bentley GT platform, perhaps. And with Porsche slowly upping its stake in VW, what about the Panamera? We think it’s far more likely Lamborghini will go lightweight, and borrow the all-aluminium, all-wheel drive Audi A8 platform – either the current one, or the next generation which is soon due. In fact, if you go back to those early 2+2 discussions, this seems to have been exactly the plan. What’s more, while a number of speculators are suggesting the new car will be labelled Urus, those early plans refer to the name Lagartijo. This would make more sense under current Lamborghini naming conventions, as Rafael Molina Sánchez “Lagartijo” was a bullfighter, who supposedly spared the legendary bull “Murcielago”… What’s more, early sketches of a two-door, four-seat “Lagartijo” – by Lamborghini-endorsed design student Emily Sawamura – have similar details to the official teaser images Lamborghini has shown us. The overall styling is expected to be part Reventón, part Espada. Engines could be anything from V8s to V12, probably mounted behind the front wheels. All-wheel drive is assured.
The Murciélago-based Lamborghini Reventón.
Lamborghini's other four-seater, the Espada, built 1968-1978. Just to throw further confusion into the mix, since this was originally written on Friday, another potential name has emerged from the Italian underground: Estoque. This is the name given to the sword used to kill the bull during a bullfight. Perhaps leading the cynical to suggest: is Lamborghini's apparent desire to build a four-door (or, at least, four-seat) model an act of self-destruction... Stay tuned for more details, as we’ll know all on the evening of October 1. --- Links: Aston Rapide and Porsche Panamera 'ring showdown Official: hybrid drive for Porsche Panamera
Towcar awards, best pun goes to...cj hubbard writes: Continuing a minor theme from last week. Anyone would have thought the Caravan Club Towcar awards had just been on...
Hyundai i800: winner, £16,000-£20,000 category.
Citroen Berlingo Multispace: winner, sub-£16,000 category
Volvo V70 D5 AWD: winner, Over 1800kg All-Wheel Drive category.
Ford Mondeo: winner, £25,000-£32,000 category.
Skoda Superb: winner, £20,000-£25,000 category, and overall. The Towcar of the Year Awards test everything from hill starts to braking, performance, and acceleration. 38 cars took part, judged by six independent, er, judges. But what's even more impressive, no two of the press offices releasing details of their victory used the same punning headline. For the i800 it was, "Hyundai i800 pulls in its first award", and continued, "Going out on the pull?", etc, etc. The Citroen Berlingo Multispace, on the other hand, was "a tow-away success". Wah-wah-wah... My personal favourite of all those images is the i800. But no-one's giving it half the beans of this Merc. --- Links: Things you don't see any more, #2
Volvo wind tunnel: comic relief?cj hubbard writes:
This is a picture of Volvo's new wind tunnel, which has been built to help save you money by simulating real world wind resistance conditions. This helps the company tweak its cars for the best possible drag coefficient, and therefore fuel economy and emissions. Also, raises cash for charity (?) : is that the world's largest red nose, or what? --- Links:
SEAT meets real life PatRichard Aucock writes: I cleaned the long-term SEAT over the weekend, as I wanted to get some spick, span 'n shiny shots of it. Out into the country, then, in the search for a quiet location. How ironic, I thought, for my peaceful stop-off to be disturbed by, of all things, this…
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Ari PattinenRichard Aucock writes: The return of Postman Pat has certainly roused you – but who’s noticed something else?
Yes, Pat’s well on it. Look at that lean angle! Look how he’s countering this by leaning into the corner! Notice, too, how Jess is doing the same! Clearly, the feline co-pilot is no stranger to Juha Pat’s airborne back-road exploits. The fact that neither of them seems to be belted in only adds to their high jinks.
Especially as Pat’s dialled in a front wheel angle that looks guaranteed to generate tyre-scrubbing understeer. Mind you, this doesn’t seem to tally with the amount of steering input he’s dialled in. Surely Pat hasn’t fitted an aftermarket quick-rack steering system to Royal Mail’s finest, so he can keep his hands at 10-to-2? It wouldn't surprise us. Those racing stripes look decidedly non-standard to us...
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27 settembre Bentley track test – via chopperTom Evans writes... (continued...) A convivial dinner at a restaurant near our hotel in Chester. Most of the other people on the trip are journalists from the middle east, mainly based in Dubai (where else...?). On the terrace outside smoking I get chatting about the car scene out there. They confirm what I had heard: every car out there must be fully loaded, top of the line and the most powerful engine. Big cars in Dubai: Range Rover Sport, Cayenne, X5, V8 saloons, and of course plenty of W12 powered Bentleys. BMW X6 is coming on strong now too, though supplies are a bit limited still. “New is good” – and things get old very quickly in this Las Vegas on the Gulf. Derek Bell – five times Le Mans winner and F1 driver – gives a short after dinner speech, telling us about the making of the Le Mans movie with Steve McQueen in 1971. Brave as a lion, McQueen had a habit of sitting in the middle of the track with a Panavision 35mm as cars hurtled by on either side at 210mph... CHOPPER SQUAD Up early the next morning, our party climbs into a fleet of Bentleys outside the hotel to convey us to the nearby airfield at Hawarden:
I am lucky to share a Flying Spur with Derek Bell. Pleased to see he is very old school: charming, polite, self-effacing, interesting, not self-absorbed.
The opposite in fact of most modern celebrities, whether from the F1 world or elsewhere. Does he get pestered a lot I enquire? At motor racing events, yes quite a bit, but he doesn’t mind. In the street, less so, but occasionally people of a certain age will say hello, but again he says he doesn’t complain – in reality I feel sure he treats them as if they are the first stranger on earth to approach them unannounced, and takes them for a drink. Derek does however say that it must be harder in the modern age with the media constantly following you around... which leads us onto Max Mosley. He and Max are contemporaries, and first met racing in the 1960s, and he says he likes him. But he doesn’t think he should have been caught – as he related to the Sunday Times slightly inadvertently around the time the storm broke. However he is very impressed – as indeed am I – the way Mosley stuck it out, unleashed legal hell on the News of the World, won, and survived – albeit with a reputation not as intact as it might be. 99% of people would have quit and retired to a desert island long ago by now. One suspects the ability to brazen it out with problematic causes is something he got from his dad. Hawarden shares the field with the giant Airbus factory at Broughton that makes nearly all the wings for Airbus commercial aircraft. Indeed in the far distance we can see the weird looking bulbous aircraft that ships some of the kit back to the main factory in Toulouse – though I gather most of the wings travel by sea since they are so big and heavy air transport is not economic. There are eleven of us – mostly guests, but we are escorted by Richard Charlesworth – a man with a splendidly raffish Bentleyesque moustache – and we make our way to three Twin Squirrel helicopters. I have heard previously these are the safest choppers there are, since they have two engines and can happily fly on just one if needed. Never having been on a chopper before, I am enthralled by the whole experience:
It is much more hardcore than the anaesthetised commercial airliner experience. Here you strap yourself in with a 4-way harness and put on some headphones. I am in the front seat and am thrilled by the dials, switches and other kit.
I feel like Biggles. I am both heartened – and slightly disconcerted – that the chopper has on the top of the dash a Garmin sat-nav unit that looks suspiciously like one you get for a car. Take a look at my chopper video: Still, our pilot Will seems to know what he’s doing, and soon enough we are rising up in the air. We fly up to the middle of the airfield to congregate with the other choppers, and thence nose down at 1,000 feet or so, due east across North Wales and into Anglesey.
We are lucky; the wind is moderate, the sun is mostly out, and visibility is good. In higher winds and when you can’t see much it is much more work, Will relates on the headset. The cost of a Twin Squirrel? Second-hand – maybe £800,000 or so – new, about £2.5m. The views as we dash forward at 140mph are stunning – we can see Mount Snowdon in the distance. I have started to really enjoy choppers, and especially when I hear that our 40-minute chopper journey obviates a 2.5 hr car journey.
Across the Menai Straits that separate the Welsh mainland from Anglesey, we admire Thomas Telford’s Menai Straits bridge – still doing solid business 180 years after being built. ANGLESEY We come into land in the middle of the track, where we are greeted by the Bentley reception committee, led by Nigel Stoddard, who I know from my previous Bentley driving event last year at Elvington.
There are four road-going cars there: two Flying Spur Speeds, one Continental GT Speed, and one ‘normal’ Continental GT. All are 2009 model year cars with the new grille and tweaked engines, and the new option of radar-guided cruise control:
Additionally, there is a Bentley Le Mans car from 2002, and a priceless Bentley ‘blower’ 1930 racing car – all of which we are due to go in. Except, though the Le Mans car comes briefly to life with a heart-stopping roar, it soon dies again, the victim of an oil-pressure problem. We were due to hurtle around courtesy of Derek in this which would have been an interesting experience, but the car’s problems prove insurmountable so it is not to be. A shame, but these things happen.
I climb into the Conti GT Speed with trainer Jamie, who takes me around the quite challenging circuit – with plenty of undulations, changing cambers, hairpins to keep one on your toes. After a couple of circuits we swap around and I get my hands on the wheel – which is smaller than before and thus lends itself to the sort of dynamic driving that this new 600hp model suggests.
The Conti is a big car weighing around 2400 KGs, and it is hard to get away from this reality as I drive at first gingerly – later with more confidence – around the track. Jamie is a good teacher, pointing out the optimum turn-in points for all the corners and how one must coax this big car around the track, rather than order it around. I gradually get the hang of it, though I must confess I would love to compare it with say a Lotus Elise at the same time.
Richard fires up his 4.25 litre blower and takes me for a ride.
Here Richard introduces the car: I hang on for dear life. On sharp corners, I realise that the only thing between me and a rather hard tarmac is a door – and door fastener - that was made 80 years ago. I’m sure it is fine, but I stretch myself out to attempt to wedge myself in just the same:
A four-cylinder, the supercharged machine roars along like a lion and with Richard and his moustache at the wheel, one is almost turning back time.
The Le Mans car kaput, Derek has transferred his taxi service to the Continental GT Speed. The traction control is very much off. I will be writing about this shortly, but suffice to say it was a lot of fun and, at 67, Mr Bell remains very fast. Here is a video of Derek introducing the car:
Thence back into the chopper for a slightly longer return journey, ending this time at the company football field just outside the Crewe factory where Bentleys are made.
We fly over the Duke of Westminster's small home, Eaton Hall:
The Bentley factory from the air:
After we arrive at Bentley, some Bentleys are positioned artfully with the choppers – Bentley owners presumably spend quite a lot of time in helicopters.
Led by Bentley’s genial pair Bob Owen and John Spragg, we are given a brief talk through Bentley history, from its early cash-strapped days as racing car maker par excellence through its role as the brand of sportier Rolls-Royces, through to its resurgence as a stand-alone brand this decade in the bosom of Volkswagen.
Talking to the staff, it is clear that they love the Germans after the horrors of the latter independent years when the threat of bankruptcy and closure regularly reared their ugly heads. The economic downturn has already started to hurt Bentley sales – as I overheard a Bentley representative say, “if you’re making a load of people redundant the last thing you want to do is turn up in a brand new Continental GT” – and a shift has been cut. I dare says a US or indeed British car company would have promptly canned a couple of thousand people. VW it seems believes that canning a load of people you have just spent a ton of money training up to make high quality cars is a stupid thing to do – strange huh? – and instead employs a timebank system.
Staff are paid the same, but instead of say a 35 hour week, they only do 30 hours. The extra five is banked. When the sales return, those five hours a week that have built up will be trickled back in, so ultimately they may find themselves doing a 40 hour week for 35 hour a week money. VW is clearly in there for the long term, and has been around for long enough to know that the good times will return sooner or later, and it’s best to prepare for that. In the context of the amount of new potential Bentley owners that the fire-breathing economies of India, China, Russia and the middle east will produce in the next decade or so, it doesn’t seem such a daft decision. It’s a simple and clearly sensible system, and the staff are grateful for it. Let us hope that the downturn is not too long and too bad to force more drastic decisions. Again, I’ll be doing a full feature on the Crewe factory shortly so look out for that. This clay model of the Queen's Motor is great:
NEWBURY FUN RUN After the tour, it’s been a knackering day, and I am pleased to fall into the back of a Flying Spur to grab a much needed 40 winks en route back to Chester. I awake arriving back at our hotel, feeling reinvigorated for the 3-hour drive south to Newbury (where I am attending the UK launch of the mid-life reskin of the BMW 3-Series) and I am very glad I have an Audi S5 to do it in. It turns out to be one of my most enjoyable UK drives in years, with mercifully no traffic jams of any consequence, and the S5 is a great car to travel long distances in, surefooted, planted to the road, capable of very safe overtaking and relaxed cruising. The Audi’s sat-nav takes care of the map reading and - after another lovely run on the M6 toll I wind around Birmingham and eventually make it to the M40, which I discover is something of a race track after dark. Fearing for my licence I decline to participate, but I must confess to giving a cautious salute to the Cayman S that passes me at around 120mph. Good luck my friend, you may well need it. Arrive at the BMW launch location – essentially a pub near Newbury just by the side of the A34 – just in time for supper and some wine, which I enjoy with my colleague Peter Burgess (left), and John Kralevich of The Peterborough Evening Telegraph.
A most memorable day. Tom 26 settembre Things you don't see any more, #2
Dan Trent writes:
Yikes! That's some tracking photo! Another favourite is this one of a 300SEL 6.3 (one of my favourite all time cars, it has to be said) towing a caravan. Actually towing is probably not doing it justice. This is hauling a caravan, the test driver obviously hoping the 6.3 V8 can overwhelm the tow hook and ditch the hateful thing. You may have gathered I'm not a fan of caravans. But I ever do succumb this is how I want to do it - with a V8 powered uber-Merc and driving like hell.
Finally some sniggering at 70s press photos wouldn't be complete without some good old fashioned sexism so here are some pics of wholesome frauleins frolicking in the woods with an S-Class, German fella with shades, a cigar and improbable sideburns muttering 'Ja, ja...' just out of shot. Dan
Comedy Ford press photo
Clio faces another challenger
Having seen off Vauxhall’s Corsa VXR 888 the Clio’s stock was high too. But the Mini is a more serious proposition than the chavved to the max Corsa and, like the Clio, can claim lineage to An Actual Proper Race Car. In this case the Mini Challenge car, on which the John Cooper Works bases its engine and transmission mods. Like the Corsa, the Mini has a whoosh-bang turbo engine very different in character to the Clio’s highly strung 2-litre normally aspirated unit. And, again like the Corsa (though not quite as loud), the Mini pops and bangs when you change gear. Which is nice. But I’ve got to say, it just all feels a bit contrived compared with the Clio. The mid-range overtaking thrust is stronger and easier to access. But the way the power comes in with a bang seems to overwhelm the Electronic Diff Lock Control, sending the Mini careering off in all sorts of directions as it battles chronic torque steer. CJ had a go and reported it was a lot more controllable with the stability control set to ‘dynamic’ mode but it seems a fairly fundamental flaw to me. The gearshift doesn’t have the wrist-flick speed of the Clio’s either but I’ll concede the Mini’s lower-slung seats make for a sportier feel, even if they lack the firm embrace of my Recaros.
It’s a lot of fun the Mini. But the Clio’s purity is a lot more satisfying when you’re driving hard. Oh, and then there’s the fact the Mini costs about another six grand. And people seem to like stealing bits off it. Right, who’s next? Dan Links Mini John Cooper Works first drive Ian drives a Mini Challenge race car
Our Mini’s grille goes missing
25 settembre Things you don't see any more, #1cj hubbard writes: Dan's just putting together a Ford historical piece that will be up on the main MSN Cars site shortly. Which means he's been crawling though the Ford picture archive, unearthing gems like this:
Things you don't see any more #1: guys with Abba-spec haircuts smoking in press photos.
And judging by the attention he's paying to the road, is that even tobacco? No wonder the window's open. --- Links: Missing: Mini John Cooper Works grille, presumed stolen!
Taking a SEAT for serviceRichard Aucock writes: So it was in for an unscheduled pitstop for the long-term SEAT. OZJ’s brain decided the 10k service was due at almost 10 per cent fewer miles than we were banking on. Oh flip. Cue, we thought, some frazzled phone calls trying to get it booked in. Turned out to be pretty straightforward, actually. Our only dilemma being whether we pay £150 in Kidderminster or £100 in Wolverhampton.
Up bright and early to Britain’s newest city, then. The lady on reception said that if I got it there for 8am, I could wait and it would be done in an hour, ish. They promised me a desk for the laptop, so I ploughed over, dropped off the keys and got working. Free coffee from a machine kept me oiled – but, worryingly, I wasn’t too disturbed by customers, despite it being September. Ah.
An hour later, I needed a breather, so I ventured outside – and noticed a grubby-looking Ibiza sitting outside. Hmm… so I ventured back to reception, where I was cheerfully greeted by the bookings lady. “All done!” she exclaimed. Ace. A full health check reported no problems, and it was ready to go within the hour, as promised.
With the 308, I noticed no difference after the service. They could simply have cleaned it, done noting else, charged me £150, given it back and I’d have been none the wiser. Even the oil remained dirty. Not so the SEAT. Here, it was the car that was still dirty – not that I cared, given the weather – but, remarkably, it was transformed on the road.
The gears engaged more smoothly. The clutch, previously a lumpy irritation, now glided engagements. It was less snatchy in traffic. Dammit, even the engine was smoother and sweeter. Simply, a plain nicer, more cohesive car to drive all round. I’ve yet to check if there are any eco improvements, but I certainly got my money’s worth from this pitstop. Makes the surprise of it coming round early more palatable, I guess. The significance of them banging on a sticker in my line of vision, pointing out when the next one's due, wasn't lost on me.
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The name's Pat. Postman Pat...Richard Aucock writes: Postman Pat is back – and seems to have turned into the Royal Mail’s version of James Bond.
It seems the quiet life of Greendale wasn’t enough for him. Not even hare-arsing around deserted country roads, cat in tow, in one of Royal Mail’s finest diesel vans could save him from boredom. But salvation came, in the form of a promotion to the Special Delivery Service.
Because Pat now has an arsenal of gadgets at his disposal, including a helicopter, a motorcycle (with sidecar, naturally), a PDA and the run of a hi-tech new sorting office. The old smoker has also been traded, for an eco delivery van. Now we know why Special Delivery costs that bit more than Recorded Delivery.
The first episodes will be shown on the BBC this weekend. Indeed, Pat himself delivered the tapes, we’re told, in his new helicopter. And for the personal touch he holds so dear, he zip-wired down into TV Centre in order to get the requisite signature against a name (with it printed in block capitals too, of course).
We’ll certainly be reminiscing this weekend, when the new show debuts on BBC Children’s TV. If only to allay our fears that Mrs. Goggins hasn’t fallen victim to the latest round of Post Office closures. --- Links: Postman Pat [the official site!] All together now: one, two, three, five...
Magic bus winner announcedDan Trent writes: Well, nearly 9,000 entries and £32,000 in donations later they’ve found a winner – Anthony Jones from Manchester. A self-confessed massive fan of The Who, Anthony was attracted by the van’s custom paintjob, inspired by band’s classic hit Magic Bus. Band members Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend even added their autographs to the sun visors too.
“It’s such an amazing van and I’ll treasure it!” said Anthony, clearly delighted with his prize as he was handed the keys outside the Teenage Cancer Trust’s unit at the Christie Hospital in Manchester. Pictured with Anthony above are Heather Burns-Mace from the Teenage Cancer Trust, The Who’s art director (and designer of the van's unique paint job) Richard Evans, Anthony’s son Chay and Jake McDevitt, a patient at the cancer unit and a beneficiary of donations to the campaign. Dan Links: Our story on the Magic Bus competition
Demolition Derby on the M25
Dan Trent writes: As I sat stationary near junction 25 for the second time in three days I wondered what the hold up was this time. Inch by inch I crept towards one of those VMS (the new ‘visual message sign’ system), my excitement building as I looked forward to some useful information about what was causing the jam. But no. “Don’t Drink And Drive” it said. Thanks for that. It may as well have said “Look out for bears!” for all the use it was. No mention either of the closure further along at the M40 junction the radio had just told me about, which must have been utter chaos coming as it did at peak rush hour. The Highways Agency gets a tough time from some quarters, not least Clarkson and his ‘traffic Wombles’ gibes. I happen to think they do a good job but whoever it is that programmes these VMS things needs to pull their finger out and start delivering useful info rather than patronising platitudes. Having said that, I’d love a go with it. Imagine the fun you could have messing with peoples’ heads as they sat there in jams. “You left the gas on” or “Your flies are undone” would send those with OCD into a frenzy, while some existential stuff like the old “Why do you do this every day?” graffiti on the M40 might be more appropriate than stating the bleeding obvious like “Caution – spray!” when it’s raining. Another classic from the archives that really gets my goat is “Slow – congestion” as if there was there was an alternative to creeping along at 10mph. Dan Postcript – A bit further along another VMS did actually have the info up about the closure at the M40 junction. But why let the facts get in the way of a good rant, eh? Links:
24 settembre The Audi LED Strip ClubTom Evans writes: Off to Chester for a couple of days on a trip with Bentley whose Crewe factory is nearby. I am lucky to have a nice machine to make the 200 mile journey in: and Audi S5, yours for £48k with options which include sat-nav (good) but not, weirdly, cruise control. My £12k Roomster has cruise as standard, yet Audi want you to fork out for it even on this top of the range model. Still - mustn't grumble - it looks awesome - and its gurgling 4.2 V8 sounds even better:
The journey is serene, fun and uneventful and the car's B&O sound system is relly good - apart from a few things I observed: 1. The traffic around the M1 roadworks was awful as usual, but I did actually see one or two workmen appearing to actually do something in return for closing so many lanes of perfectly good motorway to make way for their widening. Can't be too much longer now. 2. The S5 is very fast and smooth and rock solid at high speed - and indeed so much so you need to keep a good eye on the speedo - as with so many of these hot cars one really yearns for an autobahn. 3. There are an awful lot of A5s coming the other way - It is clearly selling well - but all of them have their sidelights on, which, as with all modern Audis, is a strip of LED white lights along the bottom edge of the headlight - even in blazing sunshine. Audi has growing image problems and indeed some commentators have noted that the over-achieving types who used to frequent BMWs have now swapped en masse for Audi. This LED light business appears to be a bit of club - and I have decided I want no part in it - my lights are firmly switched off. I think they are permissible on the R8, as they help enhance the overall look of that amazing car, but on anything less they are likely to make you look foolish and an object of derision of hatred, notably from folk who cannot afford brand new Audis. 4. M6 toll road - totally awesome! I have never been on it before - totally empty, smooth as a baby's bottom - everything a motorway should be - but never is in this country, unless, it seems, you pay extra for it on top of the grotesque amount of tax we all pay already. I was severely tempted to make use of all the inviting emptiness to unleash the S5's 350 horses, but know from past experience such emptiness can invite all sorts of unwelcome observers, so I hold back. I am on a Bentley test track tomorrow, so I shall save my 3-figure fun for then... 5. Saw lots of Jaguar XFs on the road - good to see - clearly selling well - life in the big cat yet - saw a lovely one in British Racing Green - a great Jaguar colour - with lovely 20" alloys. 6. Chester - what a cool place. I drove into the city centre and a nice man raised the barrier for me, and got to this fine hotel the Grosvenor, where a flunky is waiting to take my bags and park my car. The Grosvenor is lovely, and indeed my colleague Emily who hails from this part of the world says that it is the area's finest. Frankly I felt like a bit of a rock star pulling up as there are millions of people flocking around; hopefully nobody spotted the Audi Press Office number plates which will have given the game away: I am just a pretend rich Audi driver. An hour or two to kill, so a quick stroll around Chester's impressive cathedral - a lovely garden, and some fine stain glass windows:
I am really struck by the buzz of Chester - loads of people milling around, and clearly quite a lot of money knocking around in this capital of Cheshire. Didn't see any Hollyoaks girls around though, though I did see a few who could perhaps get through the audition... As I walk back, some of my fellow journos. are turning up, in the tell-tale "TU" Bentley press office number plates that are among the most famous in the business, along with 911 HUL (guess who...) and FMC 1, owned by the Ford Motor Company.
I spot an Arnage, a Conti GT and a 600hp Conti GT Speed. Tomorrow should be fun. Best wishes, Tom
From Valencia with the Volvo XC60Peter Burgess writes from the Volvo XC60 launch:
After several weeks stuck behind the screen of my Apple Mac, it’s time for a trip into Europe for an international car launch. This is an important one, not least because the Volvo XC60 is on my list of cars to judge for the World Car of the Year Awards.
Also to the point is that SUVs have built up such a bad reputation of late. But Volvo is bullish. Not only does the XC60 count as downsizing (well, compared with the XC90 – see picture, XC60 on right – Discovery and X5 it does), it’s kinda affordable, in a £25k+ context. As part of car launch hell, Volvo shoved us on a coach for 30 minutes from Valencia airport before arriving at a test facility where we could see the “City Safety” concept in action. Claiming a “World First” (but my mate Simmie reckons Honda has already done it better in Japan) all XC60s will apply the brakes for you when things get critical.
And on the test track, it does! At speeds of less than 15kph (9mph) the radar will stop you hitting then car in front. It waits until the last possible moment, resulting in a very severe piece of braking, but it’s very effective in those situations where lots of shunts occur.
From 15 to 30kph (9 to 19mph) it also works but won’t stop the contact, just reduce the impact. Seems a shame, though, that it can only spot other cars, not pedestrians, and the car in front needs to be nearly fully lined up.
Still, City Safety is a great idea. It’s also an idea that no one I have spoken to had the courage to try out in for real in Valencia traffic! --- Links:
Missing: Mini John Cooper Works grille, presumed stolen!Nick Eaton writes:
A good start then. I've been working at MSN Cars in London for just over a week now and as a treat they decided to let me out of the office for a day and sent me to Harpenden with the promise of getting up close and familiar with some actual cars themselves. However, what I am in fact familiarising myself with is what a Mini John Cooper Works looks like without a lower front grille.
Naturally we've been doing everything we can to recover the stolen item. Dan has been restlessly searching on eBay, and BMW can expect a call from us any moment to inquire how much it would cost us to replace. We'll also be touring the streets of Harpenden to see if the thief has struck again. Or perhaps it was part a personal vendetta against us?
Failing all other solutions maybe we'll just go round to Top Gear and steal the grille off their Mini John Cooper Works. It's a dog-eat-dog world after all. Just ask Lehman Brothers. Alternatively, if you have a Mini John Cooper Works and would like to sell us the front grille then please contact us asap. Nick
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